Thursday, September 08, 2005

Location: Indiana State fairgrounds, Indianapolis

We're headed south from Michigan for two reasons. Tater has not recovered from his electric rodeo and we thought a couple of weeks rest and recreation at the fair would do him some good. The second reason it is that I had a chance to fulfill a kidhood dream; driving the State Fair, people moving, tractor shuttle. A guy named Mick set it up for me . They don't take just anyone, they have to want you. He drove last year and put in a good word. Mick also said that he set the record of 582 laps around the outside of a 1 mi. track in 10 days. It's kind of like a big scrambles. He never said how many people he carried, but I figured if I came up with a good gimmick, I could really pack the people on those wagons.

We stopped in Kokomo to see 'Old Ben' the 5,000 lb. bull (dead and stuffed) and the world's largest sycamore stump. As we bathed in the majesty of the colossal oddities , Lorileelee struck upon the idea that providing an in-transit dinner would have people scrambling to ride the tractor shuttle.

We got to the State fairgrounds , registered the camper and proved that I had a driver's license. They assigned a tractor shuttle to me that I found in the horse lot. I jumped in and turned the key. It fired with a groan and a belch of black diesel . Lorileelee climbed in beside me and Tater easily found the rooftop air conditioner. A quick grind of the gearshift and we were off for hot laps. When we hit Turn 3, Lorileelee screamed and pointed to the roadside. There it was... Our galley. I pulled to the side of the road, backed up, and in the span of two minutes we had a full blown corn dog kitchen trailing our people mover.

Week Two

Location: Indiana State fairgrounds, Indianapolis, Indiana - DNF

The worst kind of luck. We needed better than 58 laps a day but sometimes it doesn't pay to even get out of bed . At morning's light, we'd begin by trying to get Tater into his tuxedo. His job was to take tickets and double as maitre'd. Lorileelee would start the deep fryer by changing oil and defrosting the dogs and elephant ears dough. I'd give the tractor a walk around and kick the tires on the people wagons.

When they opened the gates, people mobed the shuttle. They'd bark orders " Take me here... Take me there... There's hair in my elephant ear... Your monkey is knocking the air conditioner. " None of them cared that we ran a schedule. " We can't jump off this thing if it's still moving ". WHINERS!! Then there was grandpa driving the tractor in front of us... Starting, stopping, starting, stopping... ALL DAY LONG!!! Things finally snapped. I followed that guy for seven hours and logged only 26 laps. It was time to take action. By this time I knew he took the entry into turn one, wide. The next lap I was gonna hole-shot the geezer , diamond turn two , and put some distance between us.

Well, almost everything went according to plan. I got even with him, and side checked him at the horse barns. I would have passed him clean, except he corrected and smacked my weenie wagon . That sent him off toward the mud bog pit . It also sent a whiplash through the rig splashing grease everywhere and beating Lorileelee up pretty good. People were screaming and pitching their souvenirs while Tater scrambled into the cab with me. He put a death grip hug around my neck as I struggled to control the mechanical beast.

The dust finally settled around the department of Natural Resources building where they keep the big fish. We managed to scoop Lorileelee into the camper during the confusion, effecting an inconspicuous departure amid a cavalry of emergency equipment.


At 11:54 PM, Blogger PPPMoney said...

I swear... some people are never satisfied. Complainers.

At 9:55 AM, Blogger Jodes said...

hey there, lived in IN for 6 years hubby is from SOuth Bend, go IRISH!!!!

At 11:55 PM, Blogger josh williams said...

Irish play Purdue Oct 1. we shall all play humble when the Irish win, sorry Roscoe I know your family is mostly Purdue grads but Jodes is prettier than you, case closed.

At 9:53 PM, Blogger josh williams said...

OK I admit I dont care about the game I was just showing off that I knew the date of the game and I figured you would be impressed.

At 12:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

monkeys are for experiments selfish, hand him over! Big Brother

At 10:02 PM, Blogger josh williams said...

Dontlet go of your monkey Roscoe! You hold tight to your monkey!

At 1:19 AM, Blogger PPPMoney said...


At 8:27 AM, Blogger Roscoe said...

Thanks for the support, Tater is not going anywhere, he knows to Just Say No. He went through an experimental phase when he did a short stint in a collage laboratory. He dropped out for rehabbing.. We don’t talk about it much. .

At 8:42 AM, Blogger Roscoe said...

And while I’m typing about it, Hey Big Brother, you should have stuck a chimpanzee in that TV show house. That would have helped last season. Think about it. . . Lies, back-stabbing and constant argument while dodging flying poop. Yeh…See??

At 10:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nothing funnier than a monkey pitching scat with passion.


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