Saturday, January 21, 2006

Location: Arkansas

Stood still on a highway. I saw a woman by the side of the road with a face that I knew like my own, reflected in my window. Well she walked up to my quarter light and she bent down real slow. A fearful pressure paralyzed me in my shadow. She said, "Son, what are you doing here... My fear for you has turned me in my grave." I said "Mama I come to the valley of the rich... Myself to sell." She said, "Son, this is the road to Hell. " - Chris Rea

The road with a chimpanzee and a 300-pound carnival ride operator, conversation of an intellectual nature expired 400 miles earlier. Tater shakes the TV Guide and points to Larry King who will interview Janet Reno. Freak Show's response is enthusiastically oppositional. The Man Show will host a Wet T-shirt contest. When we bivouac for the night and align the satellite dish, I'll cast the deciding vote. Prey we spy Janet Reno in a wet T-shirt contest.

Strange and amazing places like Bald Knob, Beaver, Dogpatch and Toad Suck are called home in Arkansas and thrill my traveling companions. The two-story out house at the Booger Hollow Trading Post, along Scenic 7 Byway, in Dover creates quite a splash. (Rivaled by Bell Plaine, Minnesota; Gays, Illinois; and Phelps, NY all home to the world's one and only.) At Fouke/ Texarkana, you hear the tail of the Boggy Creek Monster. My pilgrimage follows Robert Johnson, master of the blues. Written in song and legend, we make for the junction of 49 & 61 near Helena. "It is the Crossroads to Eternity." accounts Willie Coffee, Johnson's life long friend.

Night fell and time to eat. To make up for the TV show commotion, Freak Show wanted to treat us to dinner. He knew of a great truck stop. We topped a hill in the full moon light to come upon the Moldy Dumpster Slop & Fuel. On a good day it could be described as a roach house - a shack with a half operational neon sign buzzing and popping away in the parking lot. Freak Show rubbed his hands together and assured us that it would be great. As we entered the fly covered screen door, Freak was welcomed with hardy handshakes and pats on the back. "Come on in, we're monkey friendly!." Show commented on how the area had changed. They replied, "When they closed down the slaughterhouse, the neighborhood turned to crap."

After a nice visit and a Chili Bucket with Mushrooms, it was time to hit the road. Show offered to take over my driving duties.

It might have been 20 minutes later. Who knows? An odor wretched from the belly of Hell enveloped the camper in a green/yellow mist. My vision blurred as the caravan shook violently. I yelled to our pilot, "Be careful! You're going off the road!" He responded, "Which side!" Within the cyclone, I felt like I would purge my gut. We stopped and as I extricated myself from under the dashboard, I looked at Freak Show. His eyes blazed ruby red. His beard moved, entwined by reptiles. In a voice unheard before he growled, "Your soul to become the best rider of all."

I'll pass. I'll shoot for mediocrity and take my chances. Besides that, the chili was lousy. Quit screwing around!" The demon looked past me to the chimp. "How about you?" Tater convulsed.A horrific screech burst forth, the wind swirled. . . silence.

14 Comments:

At 1:05 PM, Blogger josh williams said...

Dang!

 
At 11:31 PM, Blogger josh williams said...

Jane tagged me and I thinkg I am suppposed to tag 5 others who I know somehow or another. The questions are 5 Things Other People Find Weird About Me
1: I put hot sauce on my daddy parts
2: I groom myself with my tounge
3: I have high self esteem
4: I do not think I am weird
5: All my friends are weird so how would they be able to gauge if I was weird, everyone else I wont fucking talk to!
With this I tag:
1:Roscoe
2:Mom! I blogged the toilet.
3.Dragon for Hire
4.Bill the apostle
5:Phats

 
At 11:16 AM, Blogger crabcake said...

Josh, damn it to hell, I tagged Roscoe too. Ah, what the bloody hell? Are you and Jane in on this together? All my people are tagged already.

PS. Roscoe, you've been double dog tagged. LOL!

 
At 5:27 AM, Blogger Erin O'Brien said...

This is a strange new place. I feel the ghost of Neal Cassady close behind.

I am torn between donning a wet tee shirt or my black funeral ensemble.

Love,

Erin

 
At 1:37 PM, Blogger crabcake said...

Roscoe,
Where are you?
We've been in Arkansas for a week now.
Did you go out to party again?
Wake up! Roscoe....up and at em!

 
At 9:42 PM, Blogger josh williams said...

Roscoes probably counting railroad ties.

 
At 7:11 PM, Blogger madman said...

HMMMMMM--I just got hungry for some Chili!

 
At 7:06 PM, Blogger jungle jane said...

Chris Rea must have driven outside my house because they are digging the street up and its currently the road to hell...

 
At 8:11 PM, Blogger josh williams said...

They got big long roads out there. I'm going to Texas....

 
At 4:12 PM, Blogger crabcake said...

Roscoe, where thee hell are you?

Look, this whole thing about even mentioning Janet Reno in a wet t-shirt has put me off my dinner.

You're gonna have to get your butt back here soon and put up a new post!

Oh, wait. I know what this is. You're trying to get out of the double dog tag. ahhhh HA!

Well, forget it. Ya can't avoid a tag. Not a double dog tag, ya can't.

 
At 10:37 AM, Blogger josh williams said...

You sure mean it bouy when you use silence at the end of a post. What is going to happen to Tater, I am truly scairt!

 
At 11:53 PM, Blogger josh williams said...

Robin Hood: And you're a robber too. How long have you been a robber?
Wally: Four foot one.
Robin Hood: Good lord! Jolly good. Four foot one? Well that-that-that is-is- a long time, isn't it?

 
At 6:04 PM, Blogger josh williams said...

The blogger laws allow me to take over Roscoes site. It is now known as Roscoes former site. I will be posting all sorts of cool stuff and giving away gifts and stuff. Ciao administrator of Roscoes former site.

 
At 9:05 AM, Blogger josh williams said...

MOre idol threats if you dont post! I swear I'll do it!

 

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